Dear Self

Dear self..

I know, your heart is broken. Your torn in why to do; the little smile that is only a year old keeps you going. I know your lonely.. I know your hurting... I’m sorry.

Even though he breaks your heart, he gave you 2 beautiful gifts, one not even here yet.

Everyone tells me “Leave” but HOW? How when you see the good father he can be? how when tomorrow will be better? How when you will lose everything? How when he was your superhero 3 years ago? How? HOW?????

I know it’s hard to smile when he spreads the clean clothes on the floor. I know it’s hard to be happy when you busted your ass on the kitchen; and he puts dirty dishes on the towel you put clean bottles. I know your exhausted because the baby woke up before you could even feel slightly rested.

I need my husband to see my heartache. I need him to treat me better. I need him to show me he loves me rather than tell me.