I just need a little encouragement ..

Ladies I’ve never felt this awful about myself in my life. My sex life is nonexistent because my bf said he’s just not horny as much as I am and things have been so different since lockdown started. I don’t remember the last time we even just made out like while watching A movie like we used to.

I told him all of this and how upset I am. He is my first real boyfriend and I’m 25. I had all my firsts with him. He’s had girlfriends before me and had sex plenty of times before me and is way more experienced.

So obviously it hurts me. Like this is just normal to him, meanwhile I’m thinking ... this is the first time I’ve ever had a boyfriend.

And this is the most time I’ve ever spent with someone other than family..together 24/7 because of covid. So NOW is the opportunity to like, make out and fuck and stuff !! He lives alone !! (I have been quarantined with him because I too live alone and I didn’t want to be by myself for all of quarantine). So isn’t NOW the opportunity to make out in the living room? Fuck on the kitchen floor?? Lmao cooomme onnnn

I know this is so super dramatic but it truly does hurt. And then as we were talking about it, I said something like “Idk I just thought now would be the time to do it so if you claim you like doing intimate things with me then why does it rarely ever happen?”

I wanted a genuine answer. And after a long pause he goes “I don’t know what to say.” And walks out to the porch and sits there for half an hour before I finally go out there. What fucking way is that to end a conversation? And not just a normal convo, like a convo where I NEEDED to get shit off my chest because I’m hurting and I feel unwanted and ur just gonna say that ??

Another thing. As if I couldn’t be more whiny..he knows i am looking for a place to live. I complain about my apartment because it’s literally a bedroom and bathroom and closet. No kitchen, no washer or dryer, etc. I have a mini fridge in my closet, the place is not a real home. And I need to move closer to where he lives because of a new job starting soon and he’s always suggesting “well you could live in this district it’s nice!” Never once even mentioned moving in together. Yet his mom always asks me about it and my family and friends too, theyrealways like “when is it gonna happen?”

And I know he’s not opposed to it because he lived with his old girlfriend for three fucking years. And we’ve been dating for a year now and living together basically since lockdown. Like damn. I feel so unwanted.

I’m sorry. My hormones are so jacked rn imso moody. I don’t even know what the point of this was. I guess I just needed to get my words out since ..I can’t get my words out to him ... he’s still on the porch after we tried talking a second time. Where he remained quiet and I knew he was frustrated so I walked away. And hesjust ...still ..out there. I need to fucking talk about this but he makes me feel like I can’t. Fuck. I’m so jealous of single people right now. I feel fucking sick. Love is so fucking confusing.