Im getting stressed out...

Hey guys,

So I have a 7 month old son and my husbands brother also had one 4 days before mine. Every since I found out I was pregnant and my sister in law found out she was pregnant we’ve been talking a bit. I never start the conversations it always her. I’ll explain why. Ever since we started talking I always feel the need to like defend myself or my son and I feel like she’s being kind of condescending towards me. Whenever we talk about our sons, she’ll say one thing about how her son is teething for example and I’ll reply with that I wasn’t sure if my son is or not because he hasn’t been upset but he is gnawing on stuff etc. Whenever I reply she will almost always reply with “I mean..blah blah blah.” Then go on to say what’s going on with her son practically saying that my son should be going through the same thing or telling me things I should do such as “get tylenol ready” as if I don’t know that already. I just feel constantly attacked and I’m tired of feeling stressed out whenever I talk to her because it just feels like we’re constantly comparing our sons and I’m sick of it. They’re two different babies and they’re learning and growing at different aces but she makes me feel like my son isn’t doing as well as hers or I don’t know anything about parenting. I’m 20 and she’s 26. I really wish we didn’t have this problems because I get along well with my brother in laws. She’s literally the only problem I have with any in laws. I don’t know what to do. I don’t initiate conversation so I don’t have to talk to her, and I try not to say much when we talk. But most of the time I end up feeling like I need to defend my son or myself. I can’t just stop talking to her because I don’t want to cause problems with my husbands family and she’ll definitely say something to my brother in law if I just quit replying. I just want to get along because I’m seriously getting stressed out. Any advice will help🥺

Update***

Thank you guys so much for the advice it’s really helpful. I’m hoping that next time we talk it won’t feel like a competition or maybe she’ll get the message that I don’t want to compare. I just hope we can get along soon!