advice needed- long post

I’m 19 and my sons dad is 24. We lived together for a few months before he started to become unhealthy for me and our son. He has always drank on the weekends, however once we moved in, it was a lot in random days (I could never guess which days he would choose to drink) he seems fine to other people when he’s fully intoxicated (like a whole bottle of fireball) but I can tell when he’s drunk. Anyways, I had called the cops on him once, I came home to my son screaming his head off and my ex passed out, he woke up and stole my car, I contacted the police and they simply asked “what should we do about it?”, a few weeks later, same thing, I came home from work (he had just gotten fired, I’m 95% sure for drinking on the job) to my son screaming and him passed out AGAIN. This time he woke up and was aggressive, took my phone, car keys and locked me in a room. I finally was able to call 911, and he hung up. They finally arrive, take him to the police station and let him go, they claimed they didn’t know he was drinking. They call DCF because of the situation, which I understand. A protective order was set in place. I was threatened that my son could be taken away from me for allowing him to be near my son (again, I NEVER knew when he would decide to drink, it was so random. He could go months without drinking and then one day he’d drink till he passed out) told to do parenting classes because I am a young mom. The case closed without him doing ANYTHING. I am not saying I’m a saint, but I feel like justice isn’t being served. He has a breathalyzer in his car that just got removed, didn’t do drug classes, parenting classes- but me, at 19 living on my own, full time worker & college student had to? I do EVERYTHING for my son! Anyways, I had broken the protective order in December because I caught my sons dad staring into my kitchen window, watching me. I texted him to leave. From there on, he would not stop texting me , saying that if I called the cops I would be charged with a felony. I was so naive and scared. Fast forward a few months, I move to a new apartment, and find out that the court who issued the protective order gave him my new address. He drove by my house daily. Out of fear, I keep trying to be civil with him. He breaks his lease, and convinces me to let him stay with me for a few days. I let him, silly me. Then one day, I come home and he is acting funny, drunk. I try to leave with the baby and he doesn’t let me, I finally do and he follows me up a busy straight, trying to hit me, swerving in and out of traffic- I give in and call the cops. They tell me it’s “just a piece of paper” regarding the protective order, and told him I was dumb for calling the cops on him. I know broke the protective order from the start, but I don’t think anybody understands an abusive relationship until they find themselves stuck in one. I found out everything he has told me was a complete lie, he lies constantly, manipulates & controls. He constantly asks a question until he gets the answer he wants, he won’t let me sleep until I say “yes” or whatever he wants to hear- I can’t even explain how scary it is, even his mom called him crazy. Anyways, the other day I drove my son a hour to see his dad overnight (he is allowed to have supervised visits), the following day I pick him up and notice that his dad is acting weird, probably drunk. He refuses to give me my sons stuff, forces himself in my car and won’t get out. I go inside to grab his stuff, to find out his mom isn’t even there supervising the visit. He locks me in the room, takes my phone and doesn’t let me out until his mom shows up screaming at him. I ask for my phone back knowing he had it and he says- “I don’t have it”, after a while he finally gives it back with SOME of my sons stuff. Anyways, my question is, will I be able to go for sole custody & child support? I do want my son to see his dad, but safety, like only at my mothers house. He can’t hold down a job, an apartment, doesn’t have a car or license, hasn’t been treated for his drinking problem & didn’t do parenting classes. But he has told me so much BS I start to believe it, that I won’t get custody because I am young, etc. I NOW truly feel unsafe sending my son there, I thought after all this time he wouldn’t drink again. Note- his mom & brothers are always drinkers, but not as bad. I don’t feel safe sending my son in a car with any of them especially in a house filled with bottles & cans everywhere. Is it possible to get sole custody with supervised visits at strictly one place, without allowing his dad or anyone else to drive him around? (Once he gets a car, license & car seat) here are some of the messages he’s sent recently- I haven’t replied. Yet he claims “we are texting”

Note- I feel like he might be struggling mentally- triggers that make him drink, compulsive liar, controlling, manipulative, no social life by choice, obsessed with being the good guy, will do anything to make somebody else look bad. I honestly don’t feel like he even cares about his son, it’s more about me and if I’m seeing anyone else.

I know this was a long post but I feel like my concerns aren’t being heard, pushed aside. I needed to let it all out and get true advice.