When does the jealousy stop?

Question

I have a 17 month old and a one month old. My oldest has been super jealous when her dad has her brother, but recently she’s also become that way when I hold him or have to feed him. She’ll start crying and having these horrible tantrums.  I’ve really becomes overwhelmed in the last few days because I am home by myself since my husband works.  How long does it take for the jealously to go away?

Answer

With My first (and second baby) it was about 3m before she realized he was there for good, or at least that what it seemed like to me and stopped having such a hard time with it.

Answer

Mine are 19 months apart. I feed baby on the bed normally and will bring my toddler up there with me and he will sit happily for the most part. But if I don’t bring him with me he will throw tantrums. Whenever baby goes to sleep I put her in her room so me and my toddler have time together. I get my toddler to help out a lot. He will give me wipes when changing my baby and bring the dirty diaper to the trash. He’ll bring me the blanket or bib for the baby. I also will lay baby down on the floor for some play time and include him. My husband and I each spend some time alone with our toddler. My husband and toddler will go out to run errands or hang out outside. Well bring him to the beach by himself. He definitely has gotten better over the four months baby has been with us. At first it was rough

Answer

She is needing more attention and patience. She has no control in her life right now and it's causing her to act out. She is feeling very insecure in her world and this is the only way she knows to express it. Start by helping her label her feelings. Then you can use puppets, dolls, or stuffed animals to act out different scenarios that usually trigger a reaction from her. Sometimes it's easier for her to understand when the pressure is off of her. Also she needs a special baby doll of her own to take care of if she doesn't already have one. Teach her how to take care of her baby while you care for her brother. Reading her books about being a big sister can also help. As well as books about big feelings. She's still a baby herself, so she needs a lot of understanding during this big transition.

When does the jealousy stop?

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