Im gonna get straight to the story lol. I have known my boyfriend since freshman year of high school (2011) and we have been friends since. I always knew he liked me but it wasn’t until 2016 that he verbally came out & said it. I knew he had an on/off girlfriend but he always told me what it was when it came to them (at least I thought). After trying to be together once, we stopped talking for a year & a half. We both got out of relationships (neither were that serious) so in December 2018, we tried dating again & it finally worked. I was in college (4hours away) while he was home but I knew this was something I wanted so I put in the effort. I use to come home at least once of month & seen him when every time. Now, March is here & it’s time for spring break. I go over to his house like normal but this time I find a pair of earrings there that I know arent mine. I instantly go looking on IG cause they look like something his tacky ass ex would wear & boom, it’s her earrings. I didn’t say anything until I seen the front of his screen with messages from some girl talking about how much she loves him, blah blah. Once I see that, all the cool shit is out the window. I blacked & asked him about it (aggressively) and he denied talking to her & said the earrings are there because she use to live there. I let it go, why idk 😭 but in the back of my mind I always questioned it & needed to know more. Now, its June. I just graduated college and I’m home for good. I see a text in his phone about going to a doctors appointment for “their baby”... I asked about that “no one’s having a baby” then it went to “i dont even know the last time i slept with her” to “duh, if im having to take a dna test i slept with her.” Everything about this is sketchy and I honesty don’t know why I’m still here. He’s there for the baby here & there and told him I never want to come in between that relationship. It bothers me because the bitch really wants her family back & I dont want to end up alone in the end. Its becoming a lot especially because the baby mother texts him all the time pictures/videos of the baby that she somehow always has to be apart of. Always talking about how the baby looks like him and she should’ve gave her his name but spelled differently. It hurts seeing this & when I bring it up, it always causes an argument. I feel stupid because he was cheating on me the whole time I was at school with her & I stayed thinking maybe she really is crazy & just wants to pin a baby on him because we’re together and boy oh boy was I wrong. Idk, I’m stuck between a rock & a hard place. Every relationship I have with a man ends with him leaving and me having to pick myself up all over again and honestly, if we break up (which I think we will because my heart can’t take it anymore) I’ll be devastated & will definitely move out of the state I currently live in. I already know this will kill me & I think that’s why I’m still here. My parents are divorcing & my father has pretty much divorced me too. He picked his mistress over me & unless someone tells him to contact me or I reach out, we don’t speak so my relationship with men sucks lol. It’s just all too much for me at once. Losing a father and a partner 😭