I hate being a teen 😑

I know your teenage years are supposed to be those fun years where you make your friends for life and don’t have to worry about “real world” crap but I absolutely hate being a teen.

I have depression and anxiety which are hard enough but the thing that bothers me most is the fact that no one takes it seriously when I talk about it. When I tell my parents about that kinda stuff they say that “I’m too young” and that I “have good grades and a nice house and life so why am I so depressed?” My friends aren’t any better, once I got a panic attack in school because one of my grades dropped so I went on this spiral that lead me to having a panic attack. I was having trouble breathing and I was shaking a lot. My friend asked what was wrong so I told her what was happening and she started laughing. Like genuinely laughing and I have no idea why. It only worsened the situation so I finally left the room to go get water and try to chill out. I’ve also tried going to the school counselor (basically a school therapist) about my issues and all she did was tell me how great my life was and how I have no reason to be depressed/anxious. How tf is that supposed to help me? It only makes me feel guilty. So my parents, friends, and the counselor don’t take me seriously when I talk about the crap happening to me.

Once my mom got drunk and (while I was feeling depressed and crying in my dark room alone) literally said to me “stop acting like this, you’re making dad feel bad.” She acted as if I wanted to feel the way I was, as if it was a choice. I felt the urge to yell at her but I didn’t. Instead I just cried for another 3 hours until I went to bed.

It’s why I hate holidays, birthdays, special events etc; my parents almost always use them as an excuse to have 10 drinks and start talking shit about everything, including my “behavior” (which is what they call my depression/anxiety). I literally dread the holiday season and my birthday because I know my parents will get super drunk to the point where they literally don’t remember basic facts and I start to break down because of it. I’ve had moments on all of my birthdays for the past 3 years where I sit in my room and cry because of how drunk they are and how they make me feel. They’ve never physically harmed me of course, and they never say anything on purpose (I don’t think) but everything they say still hurts, even if they’re just drunk idiots who let these words slip out.

Anyways, sorry for this long rant but thanks for reading through it, it’s nice to be able to express my thoughts on a platform like this one.