I’m a bad mom

I think I’m a bad mom. My 2 year old doesn’t listen to me at all unless I’m screaming at her which makes her cry & me feel like an even bigger piece of shit. I honestly think she would be better off without be sometimes. I apologize to her when I lose my cool but I can’t help but to feel like I’m becoming a toxic parent like my mom & I don’t want to damage her emotionally.

Time outs don’t work. She laughs at spankings (which I use as a very last resort. I’ve only spanked her three times ever).

I just don’t think I’m cut out for this... I’m scared I’m going to ruin her.