TW My Story

Honestly, just really need to get this out of my system. A year ago, I was raped. I still have a hard time acknowledging that it was rape, but it was. Last year when I had just graduated from high school my new roommate and I were hanging out and invited a coworker over. I was young, impressionable. Before this he had invited me on a date and I accepted, even though I knew he was too old for me. He made me feel special. Once we got back to the house he convinced us to drink with him. (He was 21 and were both just turned 17). We agreed, although my roommate seemed put off by him (which was totally reasonable looking back). I was probably the first one who was drunk. He kept pushing the drinks, saying he could drink more. My roommate later on told me he wasn’t drinking at all. I remember clearly how sober he was but it never really registered at the time. By the time my roommate and I were pretty plastered he started insisting that he help me to bed. He even went as far to get a bowl incase I vomited I was so drunk. I could hardly walk. Next thing I know, we’re in my room and he’s on top of me. He had no intention of helping me to bed. He took advantage. He had sex with me as I was almost falling asleep. I remember he had music on his phone trying to cover up the noise. Then suddenly it was over. He rolled over in my bed and fell asleep and I felt absolutely violated. Then I was out. I woke up hungover and a mess with some rando in my bed from work. I insisted he leave as soon as possible (as politely as I could manage so I didn’t piss him off). It took a lot to get him to leave. Later that day he contacted me and asked if he could see me again like nothing had happened. I was baffled. I told him I couldn’t “be with him”. That it wasn’t in the question. I even went as far as to say that I just wasn’t that into guys and it wasn’t his fault. I met him in person to tell him because he insisted, then I left as soon as I could as he pretty much followed me to my car to try to grab me. It scared me so bad. He messaged me through facebook later saying I was a “bitch who led him on”, and a dozen other nasty things. I never reported or told my parents. My family absolutely believes rape is a woman’s fault and already would have said I shouldn’t have drank, otherwise he wouldn’t have done it. My best friend came with me to get STI/pregnancy testing done because he didn’t use a condom. To this day I still have to see his rotten face in walmart. The end.