I don’t feel loved.

I don’t feel loved. I know what I should do, but I still hold on to the idea that he loved me, that maybe it’s a rut. We’ve been together for 4 years, this year with COVID and conflict it has made this relationship thin. I feel alone, I feel not in control, I feel unwanted, not needed. I keep thinking is he cheating, is he really working, does he not have a minute a day, is he really tired? Whatever it is I’m alone, and I feel heartbroken. I feel string- along.