3 year old tanturm

My 3 year olds dont like it when I tell him to do things or I say for him not to do it. Ex: when I tell him to be nice or to keep his hands to himself he will throw a fit. He would say "no dont say that or not dont do that." Then he was point his finger at me or others while doing so. I try giving him choices like do this OR do that instead but that doesn't seem to work. Time out dont work. Idk anymore. He's been testing my patience. He will get angry at us for a very long time