Halloween trauma

When I was 15 (I’m 22 now) I tried to commit suicide on Halloween by taking everything in our medicine cabinet. Obviously it was really traumatic and since then Halloween and just Fall and Winter in general are really hard for me. It really sucks because Halloween was always my moms favorite holiday and now I feel like I can’t celebrate it with her. Anyways, just wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar/seasonal depression and how you deal with it? Thanks ❤️