I still have such bad gender disappointment. I’m so surprised and ashamed at myself. I felt it throughout my pregnancy but thought for sure it would instantly disappear once I gave birth. I have a 3 year old boy and 6 month old boy, I didn’t really care at first what my second was, but when we found out it was a boy my heart sank, and then the feeling kept getting worse. This is our last baby, I will never have a daughter, which I understand and knew before having babies that was a possibility but honestly never thought I cared about having a boy or girl. I can’t even look at baby girl clothes when I’m shopping, online I scroll quickly passed the girl options, I could cry just looking at it. I don’t feel as bonded with my second son and I’m wondering if that’s why. I’ve often found myself looking at him and thinking “why aren’t you a girl?” And then crying out of guilt and out of disappointment. Is there something wrong with me? Please don’t be cruel trust me I hate myself enough for these feelings.