Birth Control and PPD/PPA

Has anyone had any adverse side effects to taking birth control while dealing with PPD/ PPA? I’ve always passed my screenings and have felt ok up until about a month to a month and a half ago. I have not discussed with my doctor(s) yet because I do not want to have to go on medication (not that I see it as a sign of weakness by any means... I’ve been on antidepressants before). I also have my birth control (NuvaRing) sitting in the fridge for months and have not started it (I haven’t been on birth control in almost 20 years, and when I was on it, I did not like the effects I was dealing with). Part of me wants to start the ring now, but then I say “what’s the point?” when our sex life is almost nonexistent. I know some side effects of taking birth control, regardless of the form, include depression.

I wouldn’t say that I feel sad, fatigued, hopeless everyday. Not everyday is bad. But I am certainly crying more... some moments I feel inadequate as a FTM even though I know my LO is cared for immensely. I certainly feel overwhelmed between working full-time and being a Mommy as well as a wife - like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and my chest (the constant tightness within from being anxious). And although I know I’m not alone in feeling these things, I’ve never felt more alone. I have very few friends and not much family to turn to (including my in-laws, which I could care less for anyway).

Has anyone else been on birth control and felt like these negative feelings were exacerbated?

Signs of postpartum depression include:

❎Feeling sad most of the day

✅Crying a lot

❓Eating too much or too little

❎Sleeping too much or too little

❎Withdrawing from family and friends

❎Feeling disconnected from your baby

❎Difficulty completing everyday tasks, including caring for your baby

✅Feelings of guilt

✅Fear of being a bad mother

❎Excessive fear of hurting yourself or your baby

I don’t know why I feel the way I do... it sucks though.

Xs indicate a no, for me (as I feel/ see it).