I dont listen!!

Last night my bf yelled at me for about 3 hours he told me that I dont give him what he wants all he wants is for me to listen more everything I say is stupid and illrelavent 3and 1/2 years together and he told me that I'm not the person I used to be I'm not strong hard working and independent but I'm weak stupid and a pathetic cry baby. All I do is dont listen and get defensive he got in my face a couple of times telling me it's the only thing that works he told me that he wonders what it would be like to he with other women that he loves me but is growing to hate me he told me that he only like the idea of me around but when I am around I'm nails on a chalkboard to him I really do want to fix this relationship but I dont know how to listen better I guess

I'm just so hurt and confused he said that this is the final straw if I cant figure it out we are done and I need help