This may be mind boggling but please I need advice..

Long story short, I am 30 years old with 3 kids.. ages 10,2.5 and 1 year... 10 year old was conceived on a night I was heavily intoxicated by a controlling man I thought I loved... youngest two conceived by my childhood sweetheart.. met him at 13... he was my first love and boyfriend... but we broke up and in that time Is when I met the “controller” at 17, and he (childhood sweetheart) met someone and got married at a young age but years later God brought us back together and we are now married... long story short, I cannot get aroused, the most I feel is a tingle and my husband is the only one who has ever made me orgasm which I can only achieve through oral. I went to the doctor and had blood work done, hormones are perfect what could it be? I’ve been with a couple other guys (before I met the controller) and have never felt the sensation. I’ve had to fake it and I’m tired of living this way. My husband knows that I feel something is wrong but he can only do so much... my mind may be on sex but my body will not follow... any experiences with this??