Body after labor: 1 month postpartum

Hello ladies

5 weeks ago I gave birth to my miracle, my son who is the my only blessing in this world.

But

I would like to vent.

Today I finally wanted to see what’s there, how it looks down there and feel it.

Well.

I have a hole. Literally I can put my finger in without touching the walls of my vagina.

I cried after that.

I can’t feel anything. I can’t orgasm since I was 15 weeks and tried today to touch myself and... I can’t.

My doctor gave me a green light on sex life because everything was going well.

My man went soft after a few minutes of penetration saying “sleeping baby in the crib next to our bed made him go soft”.

It was a lie.

I feel like shit right now.

Please, ladies, be honest with me.

Is it forever?

Please, share your experience.

My man doesn’t even touch me anymore after that...

It’s terrible.