Should I Say Something?

Question

So my fiance recently got custody of his kids from their meth head mother. They are great kids. Girl is 16 boy is 14. We've been trying to bond and it seems to be going well. They like me okay. His son is kinda reserved and stay to himself. His sister says he has social anxiety and is shy and to just give him time. I started noticing a few odd things. I have a closet full of sheets and fitted sheets because I have everyone change their sheets every Sunday. I noticed we were going through a lot more than usual. While the kids were at school, I notice in his son's room that my duffle bag is under his bed. I wonder why he has it. I pull it from under the bed and open it. It's filled with peed on sheets. He had been stuffing them in the duffle bag. Should I say something to him or my fiance. I don't think my fiance knows. What would you guys do? I may sound stupid asking what to do.... I'm just new to this step parenting thing. Never even thought I would have kids. I want to make sure I'm not over crossing any boundaries.

Answer

I would put them back and have your husband go inside and talk to him and have him wash it while “keeping it a secret” between the two of them. He’s most likely insanely embarrassed and doesn’t want you or his sister to know. Have it be between “the two of them”. Good luck

Answer

I would talk to your fiance first.

Answer

Iv been a stepmom since I was 18 im now 32. Twi different marriages combo of 6 different kids. Each kid is different. My kids now I just say "hey y'all the sheets are missing can you check your room and throw any you have in the washer for me." And just tell them anytime they need them washed just throw them in the laundry its ok i dont mind. With other kids I would talk to their dad and let him know and he can talk to him. I wouldnt want to embarrass them. But want them to know they can come to me and its ok. So you just need to talk to dad and see which approach works best.

Answer

I think if your fiancé says he found them and that they will figure it out together but that the sheets need to be washed. So when that happens just wash the sheets and it will be fine. 
Might wanna talk to a specialist, er might be something physically wrong and he might need medical attention.

Answer

I wouldn’t confront the son. He will probably be very embarrassed. Have your ￼fiancé go into his room and look. This way he can talk to his son and say he was the one who found it and not mention to the son that you were the one who found it. But definitely speak to your fiancé and have him speak to his son.

Answer

Yea, unfortunately I’d tell his Dad, so that he could talk  to him about it and also  maybe even see a dr bc there could be something medically causing this at his age, or even be due to some kind of traumatic experience. Hope everything works out with it  soon 🙏🏽

Answer

I would definitely talk to your fiance and have him handle it. I'm sure the boy is super embarrassed!

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I would not bring it up bc he probably is embarrassed but I would have a time set aside for him to do his own laundry in private. Maybe make it a rule that everyone does their own laundry on a certain day.

Answer

It must be so embarrassing for him. Your husband should talk to him and let him know that he won’t say anything to anyone else, but that he wants to show him how to clean his sheets so he doesn’t have to put them in the duffel bag anymore.￼ I would have him put a waterproof mattress cover underneath the sheets (A nice one, not a crunchy one for babies)￼.￼￼ Maybe buy two of them so he can rotate them when he needs them. ￼

Answer

I cant read yr post bc I cant hear anything stressful but I m writing to say meth is a very seriously bad drug that has the best people loosing their mind Protect those kids 🙏

Should I Say Something?

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