It’s over....I think 😔

So me and my partner have been together 20 years, we have 5 kids, youngest is 4.

We just have so many issues and it’s never gonna work. And I’ve stood because I can’t stand to be away from my kids, but lately I’ve been so lonely. I just can’t waste my life anymore. BUT then I think about being away from my kids and I change my mind, not to mention I’m a SAHM, so if I leave I’ll not only lose them for the time he will get them but I’ll also have to leave them while I work. It breaks my heart. I feel so torn on what to do. I tried to think of it like doing time, and staying at least until my little one is older, and I have everything I need and to focus on my kids. But sometimes I just want to be loved. And yes my partner knows exactly how I feel, I don’t lie, I tell him we don’t have anything in common as I will never marry him etc. we get along fine, I’m not a fighter, but we just don’t click.

I don’t know why I’m posting, I guess hopping to find someone who was or is in a similar boat 😔