SIL’s new boyfriend yelled at my kids.

Hubby and I have been married 8 years, together he almost 11. He and I have four kids. I have one from a previous relationship and we have three together. Our second child is on the spectrum. He has a hard time understanding directions and has a hard time with receptive language in general.

This last weekend was my our youngest son’s first birthday so we invited family. My SIL lives about 6 hours away so we only see her maybe twice a year. She’s been dating a guy for a year so he came with her to stay with us the weekend of the party. I’ve only met him once before and I really don’t like him at all. He has made himself way too comfortable too fast. When he came over the first thing he did was lie down on my couch when we had a house full of guests because he was “tired”. He stayed there for three hours and so many guests had nowhere to sit down.

SIL and boyfriend stayed with us from Friday to this morning and this guy ticked me off all weekend. We went to an empty local park yesterday to bbq and let the kids run around and get some energy out. This guy tried to take control of the whole day. He told us what time we should leave (he slept until noon then wanted to leave as soon as he woke up, got impatient when I didn’t have the kids ready fast enough), what food we packed, where we set up our little “camp”. My kids were being kids because we were AT A PARK and were playing next to him and he YELLED at them and told them to stop. He complained they were too close to him and that they shouldn’t be playing in the dirt 😑 Not only did he yell at them once but 5 times within an hour. My daughter tried to take a chip out of the bag WE BOUGHT for the group and he told her she couldn’t have one because the “kids pack was over there”. When I tell you I GLARED at him. I told her she could have any chip she wanted but it didn’t stop him. Any time they played near him, tried to eat chips or did anything kids do he would take it upon himself to yell at them. After three hours of this I told my husband I had had enough and was ready to go home and he agreed and so we start packing up. During the packing up my one year old had a diaper blow out so I told my husband I’m going to the car to change him and that’s when SIL has the audacity to chime in and tell me “no you can’t leave to the car, you need to stay here with us and help us clean up all of this stuff and bring it back to the car. You can worry about the kid when that’s done”. I was FUMING. FUMING. We drive home in silence. Then we get home I put the kids in the bath and get them ready for bed. As I’m putting the kids to bed I hear SIL’s bf yell at my son on the spectrum because he dropped a piece of orange on the floor and he didn’t pick it up and through it in the trash as soon as the boyfriend asked him to (he has a receptive language delay). I then heard him tell my husband we were raising brats and never “disciplining” our children was terrible blah blah blah. My husband didn’t say a damn thing. I know it’s because he only sees his sister twice a year and he wants to keep that relationship solid but I saw RED. I told him to NEVER try to tell my children what to do again or yell at them and that dating my SIL for ONE YEAR does not give him the right to think he can parent my kids as he pleases and he was far too comfortable in my home. I’ve literally only met this guy ONCE before.

They left this morning and I’m still just fuming. I told my husband I don’t want them staying in our home when they come back to visit. My husband doesn’t think it’s a big deal he said “not everyone in the world is going to treat the kids as nicely as we do and they’re going to have to learn that” 😑 wtf?! Did I over react? I would appreciate honest opinions.