My Daughter Acts Different With Her Dad Then With With

My daughter is 11 and I've always been the type to gentle parent. I don't do grounding or taking things away. I asks what's wrong and try to make it better. She will have a little temper tantrum over cleaning her room. We hug it out and i tell her she can do it later. She will throw a fit in public and it can be very hard to get her to listen. Its usually if she doesn't get what she wants but I male deals that if she can be quiet the rest of thw shopping I'll get it for her anyway. Now I was over her father's with her to pick her. She came downstairs and he said "You're not leaving until you clean your room". She said okay and went upstairs to clean her room. I was surprised she just did what he said. I told him she never does that for me. He says " I know. She listens to me because I don't coddle her. Shes 11. She's too old to be throwing a damn fit over not getting a new damn backpack. She knows I don't play that shit here." I told him I just wanted to do gentle parenting. He told me " You're not being gentle, you're being a push over. She shouldn't have ro just throw a fit to get what she wants". He really made me feel bad about my parenting, and seeing how she listens to him more or less the first time he asks. I feel like I'm a bad parent.