!!ADVICE PLEASE!!

So, my in laws live about six hours away and don’t get to visit to often. And they want to visit here soon. They like visiting for long periods of time, 5-10 days long visits, and staying with us the whole visit. We have a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment. My husband and I have, at different points, expressed our preferences with them visiting. (Such as possibly not staying with us after our baby was born because of me wanting privacy and my safe place*. Or not coming to visit soon because I am having a cyst removed from my vaginal area). They use accusatory tones when it comes to discussing these types of things, directed at me. And they blame my side of the family consistently for my relationship with my in laws not being the best. I do not feel respected by them in the least. They also are constantly misinterpreting what I say, whether it’s the words or tone I use, I have no clue. My MIL also seems to be compensating for the fact that her other son and grandchildren love states away and wants to be here “helping” as much as she can. Which stresses me out to no end. Being around them stresses me out like no other, and I don’t know what to do.

*I have some mental health issues (depression, mild anxiety, disassociation, and derealization) and rely heavily on routines and having a place where I don’t have to deal with people and can be myself.

NOTE: I don’t hate my in laws. I just have some pretty big issues with them. I am looking for some feedback on how to best approach and deal with this situation.