Updated: Help-TTC With a Weed Addicted Partner

I am looking for support/advice, I guess and wondering if anyone else has experienced this. My husband and I are trying to conceive - we have been trying for 8 months and have not had any success.

I love my husband, he is a good man/partner, but he has an addiction to marijuana. He has tried to quit, basically for the past 2 years and can only go about 2-3 weeks until a relapse. He absolutely knows he has a problem - he has seen an addictions psychiatrist, he is on a medication to help. He has tried Narcotics Anonymous but he really doesn’t fit with that group (the scope of his problems are no where near the scope of most NA members).

However, we both have somewhat severe health problems - he is a type 1 diabetic which can interfere with his fertility on its own (and weed significantly compounds these underlying fertility problems). I was diagnosed with Fibro when I was 14 (I am now 29) and because we are TTC I have had to come off a number of the meds, that I have been on for over half my life, to deal with severe sleep/pain issues. This has been really hard on me and the longer it takes us to conceive the longer I have to live without my meds.

Having a baby is/always was the most important thing in my life. He also wants a baby and always has as well. I know that his diabetes will negatively affect our chances of conception and I am 100% willing to accept that reality, but it’s really hard to deal with the fact that his cannabis use is a preventable way he is worsening our chances of conceiving. He relapses few times a month and every time he does I can feel so angry because I am in pain and not taking Alieve because the doctor has told me not to, and he goes and smokes weed making the chances we even conceive that month so much lower (and prolonged my time off my meds). Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

UPDATE: For anyone who doesn’t believe weed is addicting - you are ABSOLUTELY wrong. Here is a link to some current data on the addiction potential of weed: (https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive) (https://www.cbc.ca/news/opinion/cannabis-addiction-1.4789187)... my husband is an addict, many of his friends say they are addicts and just because some of you may be smokers and don’t have a problem that doesn’t mean that other people’s weed addiction isn’t real. I am an occasional drinker, and can stop drinking whenever I want - that doesn’t mean other people don’t experience alcoholism and it’s kind of silly to imply that.

Moreover, we have talked to a fertility specialist who said marijuana DOES have a negative effect of male fertility - both quality and motility. The specialist told him to practice abstinence while we are TTC. The research is not inconclusive - it’s just that the negative effect can be relatively minor for otherwise healthy men, but for men with underlying healthy problems that can effect fertility (like T1 Diabetes), it exacerbates those problems.