Sick of life!..

Not sure if this is the place to post but here goes... like the title says im sick of life. I have just turned 29.. i have a 12yr old son and a 10month old baby girl. I absoulty love and adore my kids and without them i dont know where i would be today! My other half well... lovely guy but he can be soo moody, grumpy and a arsehole when things arnt going his way etc. He works away so only see him on a weekend but on one of those days hes home he likes to have a drink.. which gives me bad anxity as can go either way.. hes lovely or an arsehole! He blows all his weekly wage on shit and his car. Which leaves me with the bills and to get us by. Iv just had to leave my job due to covid.. iv never not worked. I have no savings or nothing. I feel like everyday is the same old bullshit. I have literlly one friend but never see her. I feel like im getting no were in life and its starting to take its toll on me. I dont go out ir do anything! I feel like im not allowed to be down. I have to put a smile on my face 24/7 and go on like its all fine. And its not. Im literally breaking inside.