Bf messaging another girl

My bf and i have been having issues that definitely aren’t solely his fault at all. I will admit i start arguments without trying to. We both have spots to start seeing a therapist.

He was showing me some other message on instagram and then i saw a thread with some other girl where he was telling her how we’ve been fighting all the time and he feels like it’s a cycle and i question everything and start arguments. She also was telling him about her relationship and He also was telling her about where he works at a club And made some comment about her dancing and maybe she’d find a better boyfriend. didn’t really see all of the convo)

I lost my shit. in front of my daughter. i feel so bad. i threw a lollipop at him lmao.

he’s always been so insecure that i’d cheat on him bc of his past relationships meanwhile i find out he’s confiding in someone girl. apparently they’ve never met wnd just have talked on and off on social media “as friends” since december.

He said he only wants to be with me and that he feels terrible but he didn’t know how to tell me that they had started taking again because he thought i’d flip out (so why even do it??)

and only confided in her about our relationship problems bc he has no close friends and apparently i haven’t changed or listened when he tells me what’s wrong.

idk what to feel anymore

i mean i won’t lie i’ve told my friends about our problems but like those were close girl friends of mine or a guy friend that i’ve known for years not some random on social media

just feels like a double standard that he’s so uptight about me being faithful when i’ve always been faithful meanwhile he’s talking to some other girl about me and not even telling me about it

and to me this is how cheating would start... like hes telling her to find a better bf?? wtf