Helppppp

Now before I get judged on what I’m about to say I really just want some advice.. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 8 months.. and I’m not even gonna front we’ve had our issues big ones I did some stuff he did some stuff. But recently when we were at the highest point in our relationship doing great I found some pictures of him with another girl and texts between an ex. So did I do I left as I should but ya me being dumb I came back around to him and part of me just feels numb feels so numb.. it’s like I want him around but when he’s around I want him to go away. Tonight a guy asked me on a date and why do I feel guilty I mean we said we wanted to fix things but I just don’t think there’s anything fixing..