Is this normal for 3 year olds??

Question

My oldest daughter just turned 3 a few weeks ago. She has always been my clingy, sensitive, head strong sour patch kid. 
Ever since she’s gone back to daycare back in July, we’ve noticed that she will whine, cry and throw temper tantrums from the literal second she wakes up until she’s dropped off at daycare and from the second we pick her up til she goes to bed. I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells with her because she just doesn’t stop whining, crying, screaming or throwing a fit. I feel like I’m over exaggerating but it’s SO rare to have a nice, peaceful morning/ evening because she’s always upset. 
I’ve tried so many different things that I truly feel like I’m the biggest failure because she continues to do this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 
I’ve read books on this, I’ve asked friends, I’ve asked her drs and I’m running out of ideas. 
If you’ve got similar issues, please tell me what you’ve done to alleviate them! I can’t take the nonstop tantrums and her crying all the time anymore. 🏳️🏳️🏳️

Answer

If it seems related to starting back at daycare, maybe try a different daycare?  Kids don’t always effectively communicate that something is wrong (could be the teacher, could be another student).  How are weekends?

Answer

I’m in the same boat 😔 she’s 2 and a half.. 😔 breaks my heart 😔

Answer

So my son is going to be 4 in dec, and is a VERY difficult child. I am considering behavioral therapy as techniques I have tried are not helping at all, even in conjunction with my therapist who’s was an ABA therapist for several years. Most of the time, redirection helps. I’ve taught him deep breaths to help calm his body but most the time he’s too far gone for that. Including him in things and making them seem SUPER exciting helps also and another thing is asking what HE needs, helping him learn to voice his needs. It’s usually just “I need you” and then I have to ask what he needs from me which is usually a hug; I’ll offer one big squeeze or 5 little ones. This 3-4 has been the hardest so far of parenting..

Answer

Sounds like a normal 3 year old. My son just turned 4, and 3 was rough. Zillions of meltdowns over the silliest things, and mood changes out of nowhere. It was like living with a teenage girl all over again. We generally let him throw his fits and get all the big emotions out, and when he was calm again we’d talk about why his reaction was inappropriate and what he could do next time. For the longest time it felt like he was not listening to us but shortly before he turned 4 there was a change—not as many tantrums, and when he does have one he almost always removes himself from the situation until he’s calm then comes back, and he’ll sometimes take deep breaths to get himself through something that sucks. He’s definitely learning how to work with his emotions better, it suuuucks waiting to get to this point but I do appreciate how much easier our days are now.

Answer

Yup my 3 year old daughter whines ALL THE TIME. Always fake cries for attention. I have found ignoring her behaviors and walking away stops the moods the fastest. That and redirection without acknowledging her whining. When i say NO or STOP its a huge trigger for her and intensifies her bad behavior so im careful with how i address it verbally too. My mother watches her a few times a month and she even told me she saw an immediate change with my daughter when i came home with whining. She doesn't do it with my mom or husband as much as she does with me. Im just trying to stay consistent with time outs and ignoring the cry whining and hoping its just a phase.

Is this normal for 3 year olds??

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