41 in December 😫

Hello beautiful people!

I just need some advice, opinions, stories that deal with my concern.

Due to horrible relationship issues my entire 20’s and 30’s.... 2 decades (practically) of marriages on the verge of failure at any moment, sexless relationships, etc... I only had 1 pregnancy in 2002 that resulted in miscarriage.

My Dr then and even another Dr I consulted with about potential pregnancy about 10 years ago said with my history and current health, they saw absolutely no reason why I wouldn’t be able to get preggers.

Fast forward to today... ive went back and forth a couple times in the past year on whether or not I even want the heartbreak of trying to conceive now. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING online tells me how OLD my eggs are and how Im a very low percentage of being able to conceive naturally and Im being honest. I have yet to find any site that gives encouragement or positive information on TTC at 40.

I dont have very good feelings about even trying. Here is why:

#1. During 16 years of morbid obesity, I honestly KEPT BV. I would take antibiotics and just get it right back. It killed my self esteem and I’m sure its effected something.

#2. I have HPV and Herpes

#3. I was morbidly obese from 2002-2018... 16 years. Highest weight was 300 lbs. talk about hormones being out of whack! I had gastric bypass in 2017, and lost 149 lbs... and my life is much better, but now Im low iron. (but working on and feeling much better)

#4. I took a terrible fall 3 months after surgery that led to opiate prescriptions that I became severely dependent on. In December I will be clean 1 year! But with past obesity and past drug addiction and current low iron.... I honestly don’t even feel confident enough that I could carry a baby.

I don’t have fibroids, or endometriosis, ... and haven’t been told by a Dr. that I can’t get pregnant but even they seem to act as if its too late.

My husband and I would love a child. We honestly would adopt but he had a very rough past also in his 20’s through mid 30’s and was incarcerated for 7 years, so due to his felonies he cant adopt.

I welcome anyone of you to weigh in on my terrible situation… I need honesty, and I welcome anyone to share their personal stories, their advice, or their opinion about this matter. You guys are all I have right now… I lost my mother in January 2020… And to tell you that the last 10 years of my life have been terrible .....would be a big understatement.

Thanks! And all my love...