Boyfriends sister doesn't respect me as a parent

I'm gonna try to make this short. I was good friends with my bfs sister, I would throw her bday parties, make custom gifts that were handmade and special, I even helped her when she had cancer id wash her feet etc...

But she didn't respect me as a parent. We were eating dinner together and my daughter wanted to eat white bread with butter (white bread and milk cork her up and make it hard for her to poop) I told her no to eat what she had first and her aunt gave her a piece of bread with butter anyway (my daughter had a whole plate of food of lasagna, pot roast, salad etc) I let it go that her aunt didn't listen to me because she's always done that, if I say no I don't want my daughter having sugar at the moment shell sneak her a piece of candy. So anyway my daughter ate the small piece of bread.... then she immediately said "can I have another piece of bread with butter" and I said no eat what you have first, her aunt gave her a piece of bread with butter even though she knew I said no twice, she kept giving it to her anyway. I got mad and took the bread away and SHE actually got mad at me for not letting her have the bread. She didn't say anything but she got all huffy and puffy making noises.

Fast forward a couple of months my stepson (hes 13 years old) was over. I cleaned his room because we hadn't seen him in awhile because of quarantine, he loved his room being cleaned. Well my bfs sister was over and he found one of his toys broken and started yelling at me, telling me I broke the toy when I cleaned his room, which I did not why would i ( I paid for it) and thats why he doesnt like people cleaning his room(he never cared before when I cleaned his room he was always happy) he called me a liar and threw his toy and I told him he had to stay in his room for talking to me that way and that he can't act like that. Well I was upset he acted that way to me so I went outside, my bfs sister stayed behind. She told him he was right to be upset and I'm not sure what else she said........

So my stepson eventually comes outside and I told him he had to apologize for talking to me that way and he told me "I dont have to listen to you youre not my mom and this isn't your house" I've been taking care of him every time he's come out for the past 5 years. Half the time he'd call me mom. Suddenly severe disrespect after talking to his aunt.

I told him to go in his room and stay there until he realized this is my house and he does have to listen. He had to apologize for talking so rude to me if he wanted to leave his room. He came out for dinner and tried to linger but I told him he had to go to his room and that made his aunt mad. She literally gets mad at me for parenting the kids.... it doesn't make sense

So she was mad at me for disciplining my stepson for talking to me that way. We didn't talk for awhile because I was so mad at her for causing so much issue.

Fastforward to my birthday, she sees me on my bday but doesn't even look at me. Has her bf give me a birthday card. I texted her thanking her for it and she ignored my text and hasn't said a word.

Now its my daughters bday and her bf called my bf asking if we wanted to sit down for a dinner with them.

I said I'm sorry but no. She doesn't talk to me and she disrespect me as a parent... I can't believe she thinks she's going to be part of my toddlers life when she doesn't respect me and doesn't talk to me. I didnt care if I saw her at family get together but to specifically sit with just them at a restaurant when I have such distaste in my mouth from her being rude to me this way. How would you feel?

P.s. just want to add she isn't someone who has ever thought she was wrong and she doesn't have much people in her life. She literally hates her own sister for something petty over 25 years ago. She holds a grudge and is immature in that way.