Would me having a baby right now make my sister in law/brother upset?

Question

My brother and his wife have been together for 10 years and married for three. My husband and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. I really want a baby soon but my SIL told me in March, they are trying for a baby. That was almost 8 months ago. For all I know they are pregnant right now and just haven't told everybody. 
We are all very close. Would it be super awful of me to get pregnant, God willing, before they have their first baby? 
They are 29 and 30. We are 24 and 27. 
I truly hope that they do not have any difficulties getting pregnant.

Accepted Answer

Idn if it would make them upset or not, but you shouldn’t put your plans on hold due to how someone else *might* feel.

Answer

We are the infertile in-laws. My SIL and BIL got pregnant right away. It was hard for us to process emotionally, but I dont hold it against them. I know we all need to live our own lives. You should not waste you life hoping not to offend them. Live your own life.

Answer

Definitely don’t plan your life around them. It could take you a while to get pregnant too, hopefully not though!

Answer

It took me three years to get pregnant, but even as tough as that was I would never expect a friend or family member to put their own dream on hold to spare my feelings. My advice since you two are close, is to sit and just have a talk with her that you are going to try for a baby and that you don't know the outcome but you hope it doesn't come between the two of you. You don't technically even owe her that but I always appreciated my friends who considered my feelings and prepared me. Hope this helps. Lots of luck and baby dust to you both.

Answer

I have been trying for 3 years found out my brother was trying to with his wife to at the same time they now have a girl and just had a boy and I’m still trying. I don’t hold it against them. I’m really happy for them sometimes that’s just life :)

Answer

I myself, have a sister that has quite a bit of history with fertility issues, PCOS, severe endometriosis, hernias, etc. Every pregnancy they have gone through has resulted in miscarriage. I am 28 and she is 42. After waiting and trying for so many years, it resulted in her needing an emergency surgery to remove everything. The endometriosis was so bad that the surgery took almost 8 hours, due to it being so embedded in her organs. 
I myself, always felt so terrible as I didn’t know personally what it was like. I kind of tried to be more quiet about my news and more respectful when she was around due to knowing how hard and how much she wanted to be a mom. She would have been an amazing one. 
I’ve always been understanding and never push her out or her comfort zone because I know how much it hurts her. I had a serious talk with her recently as I am due with my third soon. She has always been supportive but with situations like baby showers, etc - she supports me from a distance and I completely am okay with it. I know she loves me and is happy for me. 
Your sister will be happy for you, wether your time comes first - or hers.

Answer

Your fertility is yours alone, as is theirs. Could there be disappointment? Of course. But that is not a valid reason to put your own journey on hold.

Answer

My sister is infertile (not confirmed to be long term but she's not conceived in the last 8 years of unprotected sex so it's a safe bet at this point). She was upset when I had my son, and even more upset when I had my daughter. She kept her distance from us and I respected that, I don't talk to her about my children most the time unless she brings them up. She's starting to come round now though and is looking at fertility treatments and trying to get help in the hope to start TTC in earnest next year. She came to me to talk about that, not anybody else, but me.
If your in laws are having difficulties they may get upset initially but I'm sure they'll come around. It took me over a year to conceive my son and I was upset when my friends got pregnant in that time, I'll be honest, but I got over it to celebrate the babies.

Answer

They need to get over them self. You getting pregnant may help them get pregnant. In my family when one get pregnant it like five other get pregnant as well.

Answer

You CANNOT put your life on hold based off worrying about offending others. 
If you want a baby then have a baby. 
If something is going on and they cannot have one, I’m very sorry for them however they’re going to face a lot of heart break and hurt feelings watching others around them having kids. 
However it would be rude and selfish of them to be upset with you....
I think this would be a different story if you were 16 and had a baby.

Would me having a baby right now make my sister in law/brother upset?

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