So little back story this is gonna be long so stay with me.... My mom and I don’t have the greatest history for many reasons but we do have a strong bond.

My mom lives 9 states away from me taking care of my younger half sister (she’s 16 years younger my mom did a stupid thing). Well after my mom fighting with my sister dad she got stuck in PA raising her so I don’t see her but every few years but we talk everyday if not every other day.

So I have 3 kids 7, 4 and almost 1 year olds, she was here for the birth of my first but not second or third (she was on the phone for both); so my SO and I have been raising our kids with no help but a tiny bit from his mom here and there.

My mom has a habit of nagging at me for little things always questioning me on stuff that’s none of her business like for example we didn’t talk for a week because for my son’s birthday last month, we bought him a gaming chair in sept. This chair he has asked for, for a few years now and we were finally able to buy it; well it was a $200 gaming chair, just like our daughter we got him a big thing and a few smalls things. Right before his birthday my SO got paid but a lot of our money went to helping my grandma buy a new water heater and food since she is on a fixed income she couldn’t buy both so that left us short.

The only way we got him his little things is my “fake” dad sent me $100 for some food and extra stuff for my sons birthday... anyways I called my mom to ask about donating plasma because she’s done it before and that sent her a ranting rave asking me why I spend money on a chair (which was bought in sept) and blah blah blah she knew nothing about us spending a lot of money on my grandma.

That made me mad so I went off on her and she hung up on me so I sent her a long txt telling her I was done talking to her. She told me because she was my mom I had to show her respect, that it’s ok for her to scream and yell at me but when I do it back it’s not okay only because she’s my mom. I disagreed because to me it doesn’t work like that, I’m not a little child I have my own kids and life that I don’t need to take her yelling at me, nagging me and telling me the things I don’t need to buy my kids.

My question is “Do your parents automatically get your respect just because their your parents or do you believe they should “earn” just like you do for them?”

Thank you