Will he ever change?

During my relationship with my ex he would sometimes physically abuse me. I would sometimes retaliate because I will always defend my myself against anyone. But sometimes the abuse was not retaliated by me. I don't even know if I can call him an abuser because I also hit back and stuck up for myself so that would also make me an abuser right? So I'm now left wondering if the abuse was actually brought on by me and it was all my fault. I guess I have a sad feeling that he will give the next woman all the love he didn't give me and that the abuse only happened with me because I deserved it? He verbally abused me almost daily and made me always feel I wasn't good enough, and he used to be so loving in the beginning it's like he turned into a different person. I just wish I could move on and find happiness with someone else before he does if that makes sense. Please no harsh words because I'm already rock bottom