Advice

I’m 19. When I first found out I was pregnant in September I told the baby’s father just to find out that he has a girlfriend. From the start of the father’s and I “relationship” it was toxic I myself just got out of a relationship in April so I was still trying to self heal and I was looking for a relationship like the one I had before Bc I felt lost or lonely without it. At the beginning when I first told him about the pregnancy he wanted nothing to do with it. Eventually he came around and because he grew up without a father he didn’t want his child to experience the same. At this point I’m 13 weeks and he still hasn’t told his girlfriend and I don’t think he plans on it. Every once in a while he’ll still ask me sexual questions like “when can we have sex again”. I’m confused on how to feel and the type of person that I am I get attached and apart of me hopes that he’ll break up with his girlfriend and maybe we’ll gain some sort of relationship for ourselves. As stupid and reckless as it sounds. I also thought about telling the girlfriend myself but it would only be for my benefit not Bc I feel that she should know but Bc I want him to hurt as much as I do. Today I spend most of my morning crying just thinking about it. And I would like to hear from others. And what I can do to just better my self.