Both me and my boyfriend are at the same university and we moved to the same city in early September. We have been together for a year and 3 months :)

In the last month or so my boyfriend became pretty close with one of his female flat mates, and it caught me off guard a bit because it happened so fast. All of a sudden he would take hours to reply and would message me things like ‘I was on a walk with her’, I was in her room’ you get the jist.

My boyfriends flat mates noticed it and one even said that his girlfriend wouldn’t like it.

I told him that I was uncomfortable and immediately he said he would stop being friends with her, and then the next day he told me that he will be living with her next year. He said it was a plan that was already made but they didn’t finalise any details or even make the group chat until the day after he said he would stop being friends with her, and he still went through with it.

I became upset over this and the fact that he lied, and he has watched me cry over this. We had a bit of a spat and afterwards he agreed that he would lay off.

Again, this didn’t happen. He didn’t message me for 3 hours or so (we message all day every day) and once he said he was with her so I told him again. (This is about 3 weeks after the last time I told him how I felt, I just couldn’t take it anymore.) I told him how I felt like I was at the bottom of his priorities, and I feel ignored. His initial reply was ‘won’t it get any easier?’ and once I ranted he said ‘I’m sorry you feel uncomfortable but I’m not losing my friend.’

In the beginning I was absolutely fine, I was happy with them being friends, it was when they became overly close. I only wanted him to lay off slightly.

I need some advice please on how to make him listen to me, he is making it out like the problem lies with me, and how she is his only friend he has made at university. Yet he has so many friends here from our home town, who he is living with next year. I too have only met 1 friend here, and I would drop her if he asked me to.

I’m sorry for the long story! I have never been through anything like this and I’m unsure how to feel. If any more context is needed I’ll be happy to reply on my account, despite me posting anonymously. Thank you!