I’m really not handling this well, I have all the proof and hard evidence I need.. (sometimes in bed when he’s asleep I wish and I wish he would’ve just deleted it)

We been together a year and almost six months.. he’s done nothing but cheat on me and bring me down during 98% of this relationship.

I know I have to leave him, I lost my job, got a new amazing job and then he tested positive for covid now I’m 14 days with no pay, I barley can get by with my current bills... now I will not have a paycheck for a while... I have four cats and the price I can afford once I’m back into work and paying bills normally no one will allow me and my cats to move in only able to afford 1300 max on my own..

I caught him Thursday night, and this isn’t the first time.. he messaged a girl he did have sex with and paid her 150 dollars in 2018.. found her again and messaged her.. it’s the first time I caught him sexting a man about anal though.. and it got me so upset I vomited. (I do not have an issue with LGBTQ) but when your “man” swears up and down he’s a straight man from the hood.. you tend to believe them until proven other wise.. he said it’s Bc I have no passion, all I do is try to pick fights and Bc he’s been so unhappy and confused.. he says this Bc I am constantly on edge with him Bc he isn’t loyal.. so he always says “why can’t you be chill like everyone else’s girl?” Well you idiot it’s Bc you treat me like trash? Cause and effect¿

Basically I’m in over my head with all the cheating he’s now done(swears and I do believe him when he says he’s never physically cheated on me) he likes the thrill, he likes that they want him and acknowledge him, and he swears he doesn’t have a problem.

He is embarrassed now and has been super sweet and loving.. swears he’s going to change and get therapy... yet today he’s shaving his entire stomach and manscaping everything?! For what? To send to his little prostitute boyfriend? Lol I’m sick of this all and I can’t sleep. I feel disgusted at him and with myself, I don’t feel like enough, I feel ugly, and heartbroken.

I wish I never met him. I even have thoughts of severe depression and just not wanting to be alive anymore.. he has broken my soul..

Any word of advice on how to move on and move out with having no money and a bunch of animals? (GETTING RID OF MY CATS IS NOT AN OPTION).. they are my life line, all I have that genuinely provides sanity and happiness)