I’m basically just ranting so feel free to scroll if you want. 😂

I’m so conflicted. We were hoping we’d know gender last week but couldn’t tell. I have another ultrasound this Friday and they believe we’ll be able to see by then. Anyway..I’ve been stressing over the gender pretty much my whole pregnancy so far but it’s gotten a million times worse these last two weeks. I lost my daughter at 17w1d in June and in a way don’t want this baby to be a girl just because I’d feel like it would be too similar and be terrified of reliving the same experience I guess. Which is stupid because I know it can happen with either gender. But I also want a girl because my husband already has two boys and this will be my last baby just because I emotionally can’t handle being pregnant. The stress and constant fear is too overwhelming. I’m honestly dreading the news of what the gender will be but obviously I’ll be happy with just a healthy baby. I just feel stupid for even feeling this way right now.