Are my views sexist? (Towards the guy)

I want to apologize for this being everywhere I have ADHD and it’s on fire today. ** So I’m checking myself here by asking others because I think it’s good to have other opinions.

Okay so I told my friend that her boyfriend isn’t.. the greatest. She got pregnant on birth control and he freaked out, told her to abort it and ran away.

Okay my thing is, if they were just like fwb having nothing really serious and not talking about things in depth? Okay. I get it.

But this is her boyfriend of two years. With every boyfriend I’ve had, I’ve been like “I’m on birth control but nothing is 100%” blah blah. Like I always make sure I have an idea of what he’s like because I think it is so shitty for men to do this.

I feel like if you’re having sex, you better just accept the fact that pregnancy is a possibility and the only thing we can do is take the % of the chance of pregnancy WAY DOWN with birth control but it’s still something that could happen. In my mind, if this man loved me, he wouldn’t run away if I got pregnant and just tell me to have an abortion like he can make my mind up for me and/or manipulate me using our relationship to pressure me into abortion not even considering how I felt. He would be there for me and support whatever choice I made.

it takes two people. It’s not fair if he just gets to run off and I’m still stuck there pregnant truing to decide what to do (hypothetically) and if he cared about me and loved me, he wouldn’t leave me high and dry like that.

It’s cruel, and emotionally devastating.

What happened with my friend is she had an abortion he came back BUT only AFTER the abortion but absolutely would not even talk to her until she made up her mind about having the abortion.

Something about that feels so fucking wrong. I told her that his behavior when she got pregnant was a HUGE fucking red flag, like emotional black mail. She was terrified out of her mind when she found out she was pregnant, and then he just left her all alone to navigate it all by herself physically, emotionally, mentally, and that is just.. no. I don’t accept that.

This is why she messaged me, because she was scared and alone and I held her hand through the whole thing and then she went back to normal life because her bf came back.

But she explained to me that it just really scared him, and he never wanted kids. Okay dude then get yourself fixed because even though she was on birth control she STILL got pregnant and you always knew that it was a chance.

I GET that he was scared, how tf do you think she felt. I understand him being absolutely against having kids when he never wanted them in the first place.

It was the way he did this.. left her alone like that and told her he wasn’t gonna be with her if she didn’t abort like... come on please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this was fucked up.

I can’t help but dislike this guy.

This isn’t to debate abortion, I can’t control my friends lives and decisions, all I can do is show support and love. it’s to debate whether or not her boyfriend is shitty.

To add: after talking with her I think I don’t take his feelings into consideration as much as I do hers which explains my title.

But.. I feel like that just makes sense, since she’s the one pregnant and having an abortion (she was only 3 weeks along and took the pill) and literally had to force her body to miscarry.

Alone. No support from him.

But this pregnancy was 50% because of him, and he should have been there for her. Like.. this is not how you treat someone you care about and love. I told her that she needs to remember how he behaved when shit got hard and take it into consideration as she decides whether or not to spend her life with him

I thought it could be sexist because I’m considering her feelings way more than I am considering his. Basically I don’t give a flying shit how scared this fool was, he should have been there for her and I doooont like him. I think I made this confusing because I didn’t clarify “sexist towards him” 😓