Dad issues

My dad has always had to go on power trips growing up and still do this day.

He’s always said things like

“I’m going no where in life”

“Me and my brother are going to struggle at everything we do in life”

He would call me names like retard, fat, and a bitch. And for no reason at all. If I emptied the dish washer wrong when I was younger I would get a lecture for 2 or 3 hours about how I can’t do a job right.

He always has to be the center of attention at dinner, when we eat dinner it’s usually him lecturing us for the whole meal or when we have company it’s him talking about himself.

He scares my boyfriend and my boyfriend thinks he’s strange. Which he is.

When he has one of his “episodes” where he lashes out at me or my mom. He says things like “I wish I could take off and leave all of you but you guys would never make it in this world.”

Ever since I was little he always said he couldn’t wait for my 18th birthday because it was the day he could kick me out of the house and if he never saw me again it would be the best day of his life. He said this to be every single year.

I never did anything wrong as a kid. I was polite, never drank, never did drugs but it still wasn’t good enough for him.

He is mean to my mom and has been ever since childhood. My mom threw her back out last year and she could barely walk and my dad still made her decorate and do house work for our Christmas party.

I want to move out so bad and I’m currently saving up for a house but everything is so damn expensive honestly. I just want to move out so I don’t hear his ugly ugly voice.