The pain

The pain hits different when its by the one person that knew everything you been through. They new the pain you have, the heartache you have endured and they promised to never tmdo you like that and then they did. Then that makes the heartache and pain your feeling 10 times worse. I feel so broken right now. For 3.5 I spent my time alone with no man. Jisy focused on me and my kid and my career. Then after I healed from previous numerous pain I decided to get back out there and found someone who I believed and felt was my one. Then things slowly changed. And he hurt me just like the rest. I have never felt this much pain in my life. I can not believed this really just happened. This was not suposed to happen. We had plans. Another kid, marriage, a life and a family. I hate myself for allowing him in,, i hate myself for falling as hard as i did for because i should have known better.. I feel so broken right now.