Was I right to give up?

I will try to be concise.

My BIL arrived for Thanksgiving. He stayed through 12/10 because he needed to take his boards. He failed them. My FIL and MIL came to visit 12/10-12/16, so he stayed for their visit. He doesn’t have anywhere to go. He is homeless and without an income or a plan. I figured he would probably stay through Christmas and then head to Florida to stay with his mother.

He has lived with us before and it was a fiasco. I truly feel he is trying to be a good house guest, but that only goes so far. He brought with him his giant pit bull. He’s a very nice dog, but he is big and loud and he has pretty much ruined my carpet with mud. The other day he knocked my toddler over.

I am 33 weeks pregnant. He is currently in our nursery, because the dog cannot come upstairs. We just refinished our hardwood floors. I can’t work on my nursery and he has tainted it with his stench. He did bring a cat with him too, which used to be our cat. However, he didn’t feed the cat for several days and didn’t tell us so we could buy food...and unfortunately, the cat was very old, had a seizure/stroke, and has since passed.

He tries to help out. But rarely does it go well. He installed my new microwave, but that was a huge fight with my husband. He ruined a piece of furniture my husband spent 100+ hours building. He changed my brakes, but they don’t appear to be working properly. Sigh.

He eats A LOT. All of our household bills have shot up. He’s super loud all the time. My 20 month old has literally napped 2 times in the past month since he has been here.

Before he came, we decided he would be gone prior to baby arriving, as we needed to fix up the nursery. My husband was going to ask him his plans for leaving yesterday. Instead he informs me, “I told him he could stay until the baby is born.”

I about died. That isn’t at all what we agreed on. Since he has been here he hasn’t formulated any plan. I know he is trying to be a good guest, but it’s still stressful having him here. I told my husband I needed some time without guests before the baby arrived.

He made me feel terrible. He said that if that’s how I feel, my sister shouldn’t come. My sister arrives 01/26-02/06, as baby is due 02/01, and I need someone here to care for my toddler when I give birth. He said it’s helpful to have his brother here, because we just moved and there’s so much to do. He says I don’t (can’t) help with anything, so he needs his brother to help him to relieve some burden.

I caved. I apologized for not realizing he found his brother so helpful. Mostly because anytime his brother helps, it’s a screaming match. 🤦‍♀️

I just feel so overwhelmed. I’m about to be a mom of two under two, and my last month of pregnancy is going to be freaking stressful and I will get zero time with my husband. He said the nursery isn’t going to be ready anyway, so his brother can stay in it.

Was I right to cave? I know his feelings are valid, but he never validated mine. Now I have a 47 year old man-child squatting in my basement until Who knows when.