Did you have any doubts about your partner before you decided to invest your time + love (and/or marriage) with them?

What were your doubts? What are “reasonable” or common doubts/fears? What are deal-breaking doubts?

In my last relationship, I was so sure my ex was my person, but he cheated on me and abused me mentally/verbally. I came out of the relationship with some extreme body dysmorphia, trust issues, financial ruin, and was overall left very devastated and suicidal. This was years ago, and I have grown so much (gone to therapy, adopted healthy hobbies, have better thoughts overall + confidence). Fast forward to now, I have met a man that makes me feel very happy and safe. We have had minor bumps in the road like all couples, but nothing I felt like we couldn’t overcome together.

There has been no infidelity, but my partner recently hurt me deeply and broke our trust. My heart is telling me to forgive him and continue being with him, but my mind is recalling the abuse and pain I’ve experienced by men in the past. Aside from the rough patch situation we are experiencing right now, he makes me happy and I could see myself marrying him. I’m positive an engagement is in our future since it is something we have talked about for the last five months. I just hate the way he has made me feel because it put me back into that very dark place I was in all of those years ago. I hate hate HATE that he now has something in common with my horrid ex and I just feel ill about the whole situation.

I know relationships rely on forgiveness, but when should you ignore your gut instincts and trust your heart? Has your partner ever done something you thought you couldn’t forgive, but did? How did you overcome it and do you still have resentment or regret? Plssss offer advice, I’m really struggling.