Should I get over this in-law issue?

Question

Short version: I had a disagreement with my in-laws over COVID, I let them know how I feel, they ignored me, now everyone wants me to move on. Should I?
Long version:
- my SIL got married in October. We arrived at the wedding and realized there were 30 people with no masks in sight. Tension ensued.
- I cooled off for a month, and then wanted to speak with my in-laws. My husband and our therapist said a text would be better than my preference of in-person discussion, because they don’t handle conflict well.
- I texted them and they did not respond (will put my text below). They did not speak to me at all, and told my husband instead that the text had pissed them all off and that I was dramatic, self-centered, and bossy.
- Now, everyone wants to “move on” and they are acting like everything is normal. 
- I embrace conflict and they are very conflict-averse, so from my perspective I don’t want to move on without hashing it out. My husband is on my side but also wants to move on because he hates conflict. Thoughts?
The text:
I have some things to say about the wedding that I would like for you to hear from me specifically. I have taken some time to reflect to have a clearer head. Please feel free to give me a call to discuss if you wish. 
I acknowledge that the mistake I made was not being more proactive in discussing what measures would be in place at the wedding. I asked DH about it a couple of times, but he was assuming that CDC guidelines/state executive orders/venue rules would be followed. Had I realized they would not be, I would not have come. The very last thing I would want to do at a wedding is be high maintenance and cause issues, as I know how stressful and important weddings are. I know that the resulting tension had a negative impact on other people, for which I am sorry, especially to SIL and BIL. 
The two primary reasons I have followed CDC guidelines since the beginning of the pandemic are 1) my personal values related to community responsibility and 2) my concern for the safety of my family. I understand that we do not agree on how our different approaches align with those values. I don’t think we have to.
The point that I do need you to understand is that I am very angry about the way that I feel my boundaries around my children were not respected. While I realize that some good faith efforts were made, such as remaining separate in the cabin, Two specific examples of crossed boundaries  are 1) FIL and SIL telling Stepson that they would not mention it if he did not wear a mask 2) “PPE will be plentiful” “windows will be open” “everyone will wear a mask to the reception” etc. - phrases like this felt misleading. 
I know that we do not always get along and my perspective is that in order to get along, we have learned to “let things go” about each other. However, it is important to me that our efforts to protect Everett and stepson and raise them well are respected, even if you do not agree with our parenting choices. 
I would appreciate coming to a common understanding about this issue prior to discussion about Christmas or future events. I love Everett very much and the thought of putting him in what I perceive to be risky situations does not feel right to me. Moving on from this without acknowledgment feels frustrating and upsetting.

Answer

I don’t think this is something for you to just “get over” because while it’s frustrating that they mislead you about covid stuff even tho they know your stance, it seems there’s an even bigger issue with them not agreeing/respecting how you & your husband choose to raise your kids & boundaries you wish to set.

Answer

So I think that’s really tricky. I think you need to start by what are you trying to accomplish? It doesn’t seem like you guys see eye to eye on the subject, and if the goal is to change that I don’t think that’s going to happen. But i do understand the feeling disrespected and not having boundaries honored. They can live how they want and so can you but i think essentially each other’s boundaries matter. I personally wouldn’t lose a family relationship over this, you guys just should somehow find a solution that works for you guys. Like if you’re willing to go without this side of the family for however long this goes on, what matters to your family and how you guys can work together to find a solution

Answer

I think you should decided what you want to get out of a confrontation. Like if they are conflict averse and don't hold your same views. You may not get what you are looking for. Which is then apologizing and agreeing with you. 
Obviously you cannot go back in time. But you should have taken your kids and walked out of the wedding. There is literally nothing you can do to change anyone else's behavior. 
I don't know if let go is the right wording. But I think you should move forward knowing what you know about their level of safety when it comes to this virus and act according. 
Maybe that means you do not see them in person for the duration of this virus and only do video calls. 
But I don't think you will get what you want from them. Being a person who confronts issues straight on myself and having had conflict avoiding friends. The conflict averse people are incredibly stubborn, will cut their noses to spite their faces type stubborn. 
Move ahead, don't waste energy on these people

Answer

If they took what you had to say, and said it was selfish and that it pissed them off then that’s on them. The ball is in their court and that’s how they chose to handle the situation.
Do you really care for them? Aside from this instance and their personalities of being conflict averse. 
If you love them, and want them to be in your life then I would try to make a phone call or meet in person to tell them that you do love them but as a mom it’s just your biggest job to keep your kids safe and that is understandable. Tell them you want them around but just want masks to be worn. 
However, if you don’t care for them, and would rather to just let it go and not see them until they reach out (which could be never is they avoid you and this issue), then that’s also your decision.
I make the mistake of forgiving too easily and letting people walk all over me, but I will go to war when it comes to my kids idc who I’m up against. 
What I’ve learned, because I am much like you and my in laws are much like yours 🙄, is to just let most shit go. But when it comes to my kids I always let them know. Again, I’d simply say “hey. I’m sorry if I upset you before. I love you guys and want us to be able to get together. I just ask that we all follow guidelines and wear masks when around one another. For the babies sake, and for your guys’ as well. I just want everyone to be safe and take precautions. As a mom, that’s my most important job.”
This would be giving it one last shot, but otherwise it’s out of your hands. I think you’re trying to do what’s best for your kid and I will never say that’s wrong.

Should I get over this in-law issue?

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