I'm running out of excuses....

My son is 16 and constantly asks why his dad doesn't want to hang out with him or spend time with him. I keep coming up with stuff, like he's tired, he's stressed, he's busy, but I think he's catching on. Truth is... My husband doesn't like the person our son is. My husband was a wrestler in his High School and he expected our son to be the same. Our son gave it a try, but didn't like it, so he joined the creative writing club. He wants to he an author and a poet. He's really good at spoken word poems and loves to write stories. I think it's really sweet! He also doesn't think our son is man enough. The night we were having dinner with our sons girlfriend's family, our son picked up her plate and took it to their sink. On the ride home he yelled at him saying that is there house and she is a women and she should be taken his plate and he better not ever see him take another women's plate, especially at her own house. I got on to my husband. He was being a gentleman. What is so wrong with that. He also doesn't like that our son can be passive. That one is kind of understandable, but he was being bullied and my husband yelled at him for not standing up for himself. My husband always tells me he's not the son he wanted and that hurts me. I think he's fine just the way he is. I'm running out of excuses why his dad doesn't want to spend time with him, but I'm worried if I tell him the real reason it will hurt him really bad. I thought about offering to do the things his dad won't do with him, but I don't think it will mean as much because he really just wants his dads approval..