Feeling so lonely

I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and never will and I’m so lonely.

I’m 3 months postpartum and I’m feeling so lonely. Ive been trying to hard to connect with friends and talk to them. I’ve asked people out to coffee (we live somewhere that’s safe from covid for the most part) or even just to chat over text. Anything. Anything at all.

But people won’t reply. And I’ll send a message out every so often to try start up a conversation and sometimes I just won’t get anything back. I don’t have many friends. And I’ve lost lots because I’m just not good at being social but I do try and I’m better at it in person than over text. I don’t even know what my friends are up to or what their hobbies are anymore.

I went out with a friend finally today and feel so much more lonely. She was telling me all about all the people she’s been going out with everyday for the last two weeks. And I can barely get people to text me back.

I feel so boring and unwanted.

My partner has friends. I want so much to fit in. But I can’t contribute the time to learn about the nerdy stuff they’re into with a 3 month old. Even though I know I’d like to.

I also don’t want to burden him with these thoughts because he’s also having a hard time with the baby. He does so so so much for the baby and loves her to bits but babies are exhausting no matter what. I just don’t want to be a burden on him.