Do better Dads

Question

I’m just going to say it, the bar for dads is on the ground. I work a full time job, I’m also a mama just like thousands of women out there. We get home from work but there’s no time to relax because hubs needs his uniform washed, the baby needs dinner, also he needs a bath but he’s teething so he needs extra attention, so with one arm you try and do all the things. Then it’s bedtime, but we’re going through another sleep regression so expect bedtime to last about an hour-two hours. And then for him to wake up every 45 minutes to an hour. All. Night. Long. Your alarm goes off right as you laid back down after finally getting him to sleep. You get up get ready to do it all over again. And what do dads do? They provide, yes. And we couldn’t make it without him ....but.....he clocks in, clocks out and comes home to a stressed out tired wife and wonders why she’s not the fun, happy girl she was when they first met. Well, DADS, let me explain. WE. ARE. EXHAUSTED. take the baby. Just take the kids. Tell us to nap without guilting us. Tell us to enjoy a bath without interruptions! Just please help your partners, PLEASE. My mental health is the worst it’s ever been, I’m struggling at work, I’m struggling at home and all it would take to help is some help.

Answer

Yes I agree! They expect us to take care of them, home, and the children! Then they expect us to be fun and have sex with them on a daily! It’s so exhausting! I’m convinced at least 80% men in the world are like this.

Answer

Not all dads are like that. Talk to him and ask for help. Make a plan. Pick things he can do that make sense with his work schedule. Maybe he can empty and fill the dishwasher before he goes to bed or whatever. 
My husband and I had a big fight at the beginning of our marriage because I felt like I was doing everything. He said matter of factly that doing that stuff wasn’t going to naturally pop in his head. He was never going to be sitting on the couch and think “hmm, I bet the dishwasher needs to be emptied.” He told me to tell him to do stuff. So I did. I started with a simple job that wasn’t time sensitive like, “before you go to bed, can you just empty and fill the dishwasher?” And we went from there. Now we have 2 kids. I wouldn’t say it’s 50/50, especially because I don’t trust him with the laundry 😂 but he does a bunch of stuff around the house, almost always without being asked and I also don’t feel bad asking him if he doesn’t think about it. It was the most important talk we ever had. Talk it out.

Answer

Sounds like you need to communicate with your partner what you need. My husband pretty much took over the laundry when baby was born, I tell him what load to grab. He washes and dries it then I fold and we both put it away. A lot of times our daughter only wants me so he’s cooking dinner, I just tell him what I was planning for that night and he does it. Dishes need taken care of, I ask for help. I need more sleep on the weekend, I get up and nurse then tag him in and go back to sleep. He’s not perfect but when I finally realized that he’s not a mind reader and won’t just do something because it’s in my head that it needs done, things got a lot smoother.

Answer

I agree with you. So many women are in relationships with men who are not supporting them the way they need to be. I it’s a topic on here alone, at least 20 times a day. That’s a low estimate. I think it’s really stupid how people defend them by saying their brains don’t work the same way and we need to tell them what they need to do… I think that’s bullshit. I have seen men who help every other person in the world without them asking, except when they get home to their wives, they will not do one single thing.
Tell him that you are feeling extremely overwhelmed and you need him to step up and take charge sometimes if he doesn’t want a raging bitch for a wife.

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The bar for with who all these woman are making babies is also dangerously low 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

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I think rather than posting telling ALL dads to be better, your time would be better spent communicating with your husband how HE can be better

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Maybe women need to do better when picking the father of their child.
My fiancé goes above and beyond for us. Not all men are the same.

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Not everyone is like this. My husband is a SAHD. he cooks, cleans, takes care of our daughter, does the laundry. We take turns with regressions and extra cuddles because we bother understand that neither one of us gets a break and we both work hard (me in my career and him as a stay at home dad). You have a child, not a man.

Answer

Have you told him you're not Wonder Woman yet? He might need to be informed. It doesn't have to be that way.

Answer

Yeh that's not dads, that's your partner. Sorry he's being rubbish but there's no need to generalise.

Do better Dads

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