Am I a terrible person?

Question

Am I a terrible person for wanting to leave my husband because the sex is just plain terrible? He lasts less than two minutes and never bothers to help me out after. He also cries often and it really freaks me out. We’ve tried outfits, toys, books, etc to spice things up to see if things get better and they don’t.
We didn’t have sex before we got married, and our relationship has been fairly rocky but we’ve been trying to work through it during counseling. At this point I just can’t get over how unattracted I am to him; especially because of the bad the sex is.

Answer

This is exactly why you test drive a car before buying it. If there’s no kids in the marriage personally I would leave. Right now you have nothing to lose. If y’all have kids then try to work it out.

Answer

Sounds like you need to communicate. Learn what turns each other on. Get him numbing spray for down there (my man does it sometimes). Ask him about his kinks. Be open about it.

Answer

If you think your tried all the options and you see now hope that it could improve, I think it’s worth being honest. If you want to give something else a try, look up sensation focus. It’s a sex therapy technique from Master and Johnson, and it can help with all kinds of things... including premature ejaculation. Your husband might be more open to trying to focus on your pleasure if he knew that you were considering leaving him because of it!

Answer

Have y’all brought up the sex stuff in counseling? I wouldn’t leave him over that. Have you tried Christian counseling? My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex and he would finish really fast at first and it worries me so much and I was turned off. But now he’s a pro and so good in bed (I had many partners before him and wasn’t a virgin). I prayed about it and I believe that’s what helped him. He also wanted to last longer and I believe he prayed about it too. I would be patient and definitely talk about it with him in a loving way. I’m a little concerned about why he cries though. Has he been abused? Definitely talk about all of it with your therapist if you haven’t and don’t give up. Good luck!

Answer

Oh boy. You had me at crying. That wouldn’t work for me. I can deal with 2 mins cause you can try to find ways to help him last or talk to a doctor about getting him on something before sex to help. BUT emotional sex?! Yikes. If this is the only reason you wanna leave him then I’d try to find a different alternative but if you tried everything then it just wasn’t meant to be.

Am I a terrible person?

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