Gold digger?

Question

I'll try to make this as short as possible.
My husband and I make about the same amount of money. He spends $785 a month for his car payment, insurance, and other personal bills. I spend $900 a month for my car payment, insurance, and other personal bills. I also pay the mortgage, buy groceries, and pay for all utilities. Not once has he contributed to any of those things.
He did not buy me anything for my birthday (I spent $500 on his), and he spent $10 on me at Christmas. It's not about the material things, its the fact that what the hell is he doing with his money?!
He also rarely helps with house work.
I sometimes feel like he is using me for sex and to have a roof over his head and 3 meals a day.
So how do I ask him to contribute without sounding greedy? I'm just over it and can't do this alone anymore.

Answer

It sounds like there are far deeper issues here than money if you think he is using you for food and a place to stay. What is your relationship based on then? Why would him contributing financially make you feel better if you are saying you think he doesn’t really love you?

Answer

I'm shocked your HUSBAND doesn't contribute. Very odd that he lives in the home yet doesn't think he needs to help with bills and you all are married. I'd discuss a joint account for bills so you both are contributing and can use the account to pay for bills as they are due. Talk to him and hopefully he is on board.

Answer

He's your husband and you have to pay the full mortgage on your own? Nope! He needs to pay half, just tell him as it is. Why should he get a free roof over his head

Answer

Just tell him that you’d like to start splitting the shared bills 50/50. It’s what is fair in an adult relationship where both people make a similar amount of money.

Answer

I think it’s extremely odd when couples don’t at least have a joint bank account for ALL BILLS. Maybe that’s a discussion you need to have with him so you both feel it’s fair? And talk to him about chores and what not. It’s 50/50 in a relationship.

Answer

When this was established, like buying a house, having a mortgage how was it discussed? Was he making less then?
We do everything 50/50 but also have a joint account and two separate individual accounts.

Answer

Have him pay for half of everything. My husband and I equally split the house bills/food. That is what an adult relationship is about. Equal contribution.

Answer

Just ask him straight up to chip in, or to cover rent for the month. You could also have him do grocery shopping once or twice a month. Since you always do it it may not even have crossed his mind to consider the other expenses. I’d be kind of upset about the birthday thing - like it doesn’t matter that you spent $500 on him for his, but the fact he didn’t do anything at all would upset me. Like even if he didn’t want to spend money, he could clean the house, make you dinner, give you a back massage, etc - there are plenty of free or inexpensive options to still make your day special. 
Also going forward I’d suggest simply splitting all the bills since you can’t count on him to chip in on his own. Or, be like “okay, so we’ll each pay half the mortgage, then I’ll pay water and electric, you pay gas every month” or whatever.

Answer

Just have to talk to him about it. He'll almost certainly get a little butthurt but if you want a change, you gotta talk. Just tell him you want to split the mortgage and groceries up a little better. 
I make quite a bit more than my husband and we have a joint account that way both of our checks deposit into it and both of our Bill's withdrawal from it
 That way neither of us have to actually look at the price breakdown of who is really paying for most of our bills(which is me because I make so much more). I know he feels so guilty about it and he works his butt off too but he doesnt have a college education like me so it's always gonna be harder for him to make as much. I just look at it as our Bill's, not a his or mine thing

Gold digger?

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