Would I be a bi*ch for cutting her off?

Question

So there’s this girl who I know for a few years now. She considers me her best friend and she’s like obsessed with me(I’m not even exaggerating) she’s very clingy and she has a lot of drama in her life (abusive husband, abusive family, abusive in laws, etc) so all our talks are always about what’s going on. But I’m honestly not interested in it anymore because she talks all this negative crap and she can’t even stand up for herself or her son. I’m sick of telling her to do something about it for a better life but I guess she listens from one ear and takes it out the other. 
Along with the negativity, my husband is sick of her. 
Because she leaves her 1 year old to me to babysit so she can get things done and he gets mad at me because 1. I’m pregnant myself(high risk) and have two toddlers of my own to watch 2. The only reason she leaves him with me is because his dad doesn’t wanna watch him because he “can’t” and 3. Because he cries and cries and cries for his mother the whole time he’s at my place because he can’t be with anyone else but his mom. And another reason he’s sick of her is because she comes to my house and starts asking my husband for shit like a cigarette or a vape or money for her smoking needs. Cos she hides from her husband and smokes and he gets mad at me because he’s said that her needs are not my responsibility who tf does she think she is. 
And I see his pov. Why is she coming to my house to drop her 1 year old off just because her own family and his own dad refuses to take care of him. But I can’t just cut her off cold because I feel bad for her , because of her life but at the same time she’s always coming to me with her negativity and her “needs” and I would’ve helped her if she needed help with food, her baby, etc but she’s not homeless her husband makes more money then mine does but he doesn’t give her anything. That isn’t my fault. Idk how to cut her off without feeling bad but I also don’t wanna be in this “friendship” anymore because it’s honestly suffocating.

Answer

I remember this story I believe. Here’s the thing a person surrounded in abuse can only see abuse and no way out so they will cling to that one lifeline they have. 
It’s not negativity that she brings it sounds like her reality is pain and suffering and she can’t heal because it’s her everyday life. 
If you don’t want to help or be her friend then just cut her loose. She is a victim here and yes she will be draining and yes it will get annoying at some point repeating for her to leave and yada yada. But you can’t force them to do things they can’t get do. They are already being forced to deal with things against their will. 
I feel for her because getting out is easy to be said when you aren’t living the nightmare.

Answer

Three years ago I was stuck in a toxic friendship like this. When I ended things with her I was called so many names by so many other so called friends and a lot of people got mad at me. But here I am three years later super happy, have never looked back and to this day still think it was soooooo worth it. It’s hard to do and you feel like a piece of shit but it sounds like she’s taking advantage of you at this point.

Answer

What would you do if the script was flipped and your were the friend. How would you want it handled.

Answer

You need to at least set boundaries.  You let her use you and she knows it.

Answer

I would just be honest with her. Tell her that it is no longer your responsibility to care for her child or help her out cause her own family can’t be bothered to. It shouldn’t be on you to help her out and it’s not fair to put that on your family. You’ve done more than enough for her and more than I would’ve done. I don’t like watching anyone else’s kids so that would’ve been a hard no and if she kept pushing it on me I would’ve simply told her I can no longer do it so her husband needs to it for daycare or a babysitter. You can be there for her emotionally sometimes but you’re not obligated to help her out financially. It’s a lot for you and your family to bear so I know you might feel responsible but she’s also an adult who needs to figure it out herself.

Answer

I’m at a stage in life where if it doesn’t make me happy then why do it? If she’s not someone who is positive in your life then there’s nothing wrong with let the relationship go.

Answer

A friendship is supposed to be mutually beneficial. Sounds like she just uses you. So just tell her that. You are no longer allowing her to use you.

Would I be a bi*ch for cutting her off?

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