Am I overreacting ?

Question

I posted yesterday about having a 7 week old and parenting 24/7. My husband works hard and provides while i care for our little one. No help with fam because of Covid and in losingit. 
After I tried to put baby down husband was working on assembling furniture for our home. Baby kept waking up...we have a small home...so I let it be. Finally at 6pm I tried again and husband decided to assemble more furniture. I got upset because I’m SO tired and I tried for hours putting baby down. He assembled furniture anyway and baby woke up. I lost it 😢I called a friend even though in trying to be safe and she said she’d come over to hold baby. I told hubby and we argued a little about him waking up the baby and I’m honestly so cranky so everything ticks me off. He left without telling me. I found out from my friend who said his car wasn’t in our garage. He never leaves without saying bye and I clearly needed support! I texted him if he’s home and he said 
No, I was on a work call and wanted to give you some space.    Want me to pick something up @ grocery store?
He is very diplomatic so I know he is the one who needed space. That must be nice. I’d like to drive around too with no baby. 
I am so upset he left without even saying bye in the middle of my meltdown.

Answer

Try a white noise machine. You won’t make it through the first 6 months if you have to tiptoe every time your baby sleeps. And it sounds like you needed a minute to collect yourself. Your husband wasn’t being a jerk just stepping away from a ticking time bomb. Can’t blame him for that.

Answer

Ugh, if the baby is sleeping and putting furniture together is waking the baby up the furniture can wait!  He clearly doesn’t get it at all!!!! If he’s awake and want to do furniture that means he’s awake enough to help with the baby do you can get some sleep!!  Grrrr this us frustrating! I am so sorry! I am so happy you asked a friend to help hold the baby that is the right thing to do!!

Answer

Yes having a baby is stressful, and you do deserve a break,  instead of assuming you can’t ask him 1 day a week for 20/30 mins if you can just go driving around or go sit in the car. You are allowed to have a life babies shouldn’t stop you from living

Answer

From day one I always have something on in the background when my son sleeps. White noise, tv, music. Anything. Just so he gets use to noise! Definitely start putting something in the background so your baby gets use to it. I’d be upset about him leaving too. To be honest if you’re that tired and he sees it, he should be offering a hand. I hate reading things about fathers who don’t want to lend a hand. It’s like they think what we are doing is easy. But leave them alone with the baby all day and they will loose their minds🙄

Answer

Get a sound machine for sure! My son was and still is a super light sleeper, so I would have lost my mind having to be silent while he slept. 
I know it seems like he was being a jerk by leaving, but in those first few weeks and even months, it is smartest for one of you to walk away when things get heated. Once you have both calmed down come together and talk about it all. When y’all do, just gently bring up to him that you would just like him to give you a heads up if he needs some space. Just a simple “i need some air” or “i need to go drive” and walk out. But also know you have the right to do the same. Just give him the same courtesy and a heads up that you need a few minutes alone. 
My husband sounds very similar in when there is a task to be done, he just wants it done. I don’t think he was trying to upset you because he doesn’t truly get how you are feeling about everything, even if you tell him. 
Just make sure to talk to him and do it calmly and also listen to him. Communication and some grace are the only ways you guys will survive the first year of baby. Babies change every aspect of your relationship and it is so hard sometimes, but it does get better and your seething “hatred”(i know it’s not, but I know the feeling) toward him will dissipate over time.

Answer

What techniques do you try when putting baby to sleep? As maybe it wasn't the noise waking baby but the putting them down? It always woke my children up, the only chance I got at putting them down was swaddling them. I also think it was good of your partner to walk away and take a breather rather than letting things escalate but you need your time to calm down too. You should express times each other watch the baby so the other one can have a break. It's hard adjusting to a newborn but you'll figure out a routine that works for you all soon and it does get better ❤️

Am I overreacting ?

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