Herpes Shame

Hi all. I have had herpes since I was 19 - almost 14 years now. The person I was with was my “first love”, first kiss, first everything. He was cheating on me, mentally and emotionally abusing and manipulating me, and gave me herpes. It was a terrible, unhealthy experience. Looking back on it now, I’m not sure how I could have been such an idiot. I have feelings of extreme regret, shame, self dislike, etc. A year later I met my husband and we have been together since. My husband is amazing, doesn’t care a thing about it, we are careful and I usually am fortunate enough to only have a couple recurrences a year. Anyways here we are years later and whenever I get a recurrence I have all these feelings come flooding back. I hate it. Anyone else deal with this or figured out a way to deal with it that it doesn’t bring you down?? Maybe I need to change my mindset.